Dirt

It's one of those incredible sensory experiences that are absolutely free...dirt. 

Dirty dirt. 

The smell of earth is such a wonderful smell. Ahhh, it brings me back to the many days my cousins and my brother and sister and I would spend playing in the creek behind Grandma and Grandpa's house.  For what felt like hours and hours at a time we'd sit with pots and pans and dirt and water. We could not have been any happier. 

Yes, (a thoughtful, reflective yes)...that was the life. Not a care in the world. 

I read this article, What Should a 4 Year Old Know, a few months ago and it really resonated with me. It reassured me and gave me such peace. It helped to remind me of the instincts God has purposefully placed within this very mother's heart.

I think of that article often, especially when the devil places seeds of worry or doubt in my mind. I, too often, find myself watering them and allowing them to sprout. Sometimes I get so caught up in trying to be the perfect mother for my three little ones that, simply put, I miss out. 

To my precious three, I am so sorry. I speak to my spirit during those moments full of worry and doubt...

• Worry about nothing (be anxious for nothing), instead by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving make your request known to God. Philippians 4:6

There is so much joy to be found in this mothering experience but with all the effort exhausted in trying to be prefect, I'll be sure to miss it. 

So, on March 10th we dug a hole, together. That hole that represented a letting go. Letting go of perfectionism. Letting go of worry. It symbolized perusing my little's lead. It represented an imperfect mother surrendering and allowing God's grace to do its perfect work. There have been so many days full of wonder watching these three play with dirt.  

Earth. This moist, soft, crumbly, compact, brown(ish) dirt has brought about so much happiness. 

In the top left picture Mikey is crumbing dirt rocks between his fingers while declaring "It's a rainy day"...

Making mud was a hit! 

Gabriella's little friend...

It's getting pretty deep!

At the heart of the matter, this hole represents a new beginning (for me). An exciting adventure with my littles and I where the pages ahead are blank and eager for the stories to come. 

If all we do today is count the rocks or worms we've found while playing in the dirt, I'm OK with that. Because today, I see a bit clearer what really matters and, to me, happy, dirty children are one of those things.